LEARNING AT THE POTTER'S WHEEL

Okay. It seems that cheap peanut butter and the old standby for rodent control proved to be just the right blend to get rid of our house guest.

Duke rose to the occasion and emptied the trap when he left for work early. He woke up my little hero to show him the results of a rodent encounter with a spring-loaded trap. (ugh!)

The boy was so impressed, that he couldn't wait to describe it to me before breakfast.

I agree that those who abuse or torment animals should be stopped. When it comes to having my home invaded, however, I'm happy to bring these fellows to a quick and certain end. He didn't live long enough to be abused . . . although his last meal wasn't organic. . . I don't think it made any difference in his overall health.

Meanwhile, I think I'll leave the traps out for a bit to be sure he didn't leave a forwarding address for his friends.

Well, it's official. We have an uninvited and unwanted guest. He or she didn't even have the decency to knock and had the audacity to leave little calling cards in the dog's dish.

That's right. A mouse is in my house.

No, I'm not a squeamish woman. I enjoy watching films of surgery, and watching Duke get stitches (which he seems to do at least once a year) is an intriguing pastime. If you've read about some of our spec-poop-ular times, you know I've got that covered also. I'm not afraid to squish a bug or two in the name of domestic tranquility. At one time, I begged my parents for a snake.

But rodents are another matter. They defecate where they eat. . . and where I eat; they carry plagues and disease, and they destroy property.

I looked up from my work and out of the corner of my eye saw a fuzzy blur dash across my kitchen floor. I'm old enough that it could have been just a spot or something with my vision, so I got up and checked behind the trash can. Nothing.

I got back to work and looked up just in time to see varmint poke his nose out from underneath the fridge.

That was enough to prompt a telephone call to Duke at work -- not something I do often. (And yes, I KNOW that isn't what I would look like in a chair! LOL) I told him about our interloper and offered to remove myself from the premises if he had no other solution. He was sure there was another answer.

My middle son saw an occasion to play the hero. He went and donned his camouflage jacket, his plastic gun, his plastic knife, and an assortment of sticks. Also he put on his shoes and then assured me that this mouse was toast. He armed his brother with a fly swatter and then (it's sad that THIS part is my legacy to him) he made a list of mouse weapons and had each of us sign the list as he provided us with munitions. I told him I would be fine, thank you.

It was all I could do not to laugh when he went and got a plastic piece of corn and placed it before the refrigerator. I asked him what he was doing. He said he was trying to lure the mouse out into the open. This was after he started placing some crumbs around. I put a stop to that as I didn't really want to FEED the mouse.

We ran errands after Duke got home. On the way back to the house, we stopped to get some traps and cheap p-nut butter. What? I'm not givin' him the GOOD stuff!

So, I dabbed the cheap p-nut butter onto the traps, set the trigger and placed them strategically. To Duke I said, "I'll load them, but I don't unload them."

Duke grinned.

That's okay. I know who my real friends are. That's the little guy that organized a mouse posse and got out all of his best weapons to take care of his mama. When it comes to taking care of me, my boys are loaded for BEAR! That boy gets the BIG piece of chicken tonight.

I'm shaking my head as I sit here. Not because I'm surprised, mind you. I'm shaking my head because I should have seen this coming. I should have known better. It's my own fault really. I know what sort of people I'm surrounded by, and I continue to operate under false assumptions. Like:

• I assume you have a grasp of the English language.
• I assume that when I emphasize something, the listener grasps its importance.
• I assume that eye contact and nodding accompanied by associated noises imply you were listening.
• I assume that I have effectively communicated something when I heard myself say it to a person I thought was listening.

You can see where I'm going with this, can't you? Or, at least you THINK you know where I'm going with this. *wink*

This post isn't about husbands or children. It may be in defense of them. Rather, this post is about how we wives and mothers often think it's just limited to our own household that these oddities exist. It isn't. In this world of electronic gadgets constantly vying for our attention, you pretty much need an orchestral sound track and backup singers to be SURE you have someone's attention.


I'd forgotten that. I had started to think that it was just MY children and MY husband that sometimes just can't 'tune in' to my channel. Boy, did I get a reminder!

How much? How often?
A male relative came over to my house for me to help him with a poultice application. I sent him on his way with several items. Included was a colon cleanse that included an ingredient to get things moving along. Another item helped pull out toxins. They work together.

I instructed him on how to use both products, how often to take them, what amounts and when. I reminded him that the labels were marked clearly if he forgot and that he should call me if he had any discomfort (which shouldn't occur if you follow instructions). He nodded, asked questions and seemed to easily comprehend all that I said. In fact, he drove himself to my house, so I KNOW he was alert enough to operate heavy machinery.

Today, I asked him how he was coming along. He said he wasn't doing too well and hadn't been able to really do the cleanse because the first ingredient (that moves things along) had really been harsh. I asked him if he had cut back to only one capsule (taken with the evening meal, 1x a day). He said, "Yeah, one capsule with every meal, just like you told me."

"WITH EVERY MEAL?!!"

That poor man had not heard what I said. He hadn't read the label and he had just proceeded as he thought he should. He didn't hurt himself, but he sure feels a lot lighter.

When I corrected him on the application, he defended his actions by saying, "You know you have to get my attention first. Just because I'm looking at you and nodding doesn't mean I was actually listening."

I had to laugh as I replied, "I'll bet this is one bit of instruction you won't forget." He agreed.

The funniest part of all of this is that I've mistakenly believed that this behavior is odd or uncommon. It's not. It's all too common, and I forget too often to move within that reality.

Good Advice Too Late
Duke has had the reverse experience trying to live with me. He couldn't figure out what was so confusing to me when he tried to warn me of impending danger. When we married, I can't tell you how many times I nearly got hurt because I was constantly confused by him calling out to me 'careful.'

In my grasp of the language the term careful means to take care, to stop what you are doing and rethink your method. So, when Duke would say, "CAREFUL!" I would stop and try and figure out what I was doing that was so dangerous.

Apparently, where Duke comes from, it doesn't mean that. "Careful!" means to take cover, duck, get out of the way. It's like a golfer yelling, "Fore!" or a military lookout hollering "incoming!" -- at least that's what it means to Duke.

He also employs the term to children that have fallen and hurt themselves. By calling out "CAREFUL!" the moment after an injury has occurred, the blame of the hurt is placed firmly upon the victim and the person calling out the word is absolved of any responsibility. As a parent, Duke calling out "Careful!" is the playground equivalent of "Not it!" The funny thing is that the children (having grown up this way) understand Duke's use of the term perfectly.

Imagine someone carrying a large heavy object on a collision with another human yelling "Careful!" while the other party (me) stands there looking confused as to what to do (because I didn't see it coming and I'm not doing anything to be careful of), then you've got a pretty good idea of what we are talking about here.

All this time, I thought it was something that was unique to Duke, but my male relative and Tim Hawkins reminded me today that I'm the one that's odd. Watch the video below for further explanation.

Living with men has led me to discover a few things that they take for granted, but which are foreign to females. The funny thing is that I get the strangest looks from those I live with when these things occur. Because I am the only female in residence (besides the dog, and she'll go along with anyone that feeds her), they look at me as though they suspect I'm either in need of medication or just very confused.

• When it comes to movies, plot is never as important as action, fight scenes and pyrotechnics. If plot is part of the mix, that's okay, but not necessary.
• It's considered clean if you can't see the dirt. This includes dirt outside of your direct line of vision.
• It's still food it you picked it up off of the floor before the dog got to it.
• Ice cream is one of the major food groups.
• Having MEANT to say something is the same as having said it and you should have known what they meant.

There are different rules of conduct for the house depending on whether or not mom is in the room. I'm not sure where all of these differences lie, but all of the suspects males quickly settle down and look a little too innocent when I enter the room after hearing a herd of wild buffalo run through the house -- This even includes my spouse!

There are many others, but if you've lived with men, I'm sure you get the idea . . .

The scary interesting thing is that the longer I reside with these male creatures, the more their ways seem normal to me. Every now and then, I have to get around a group of females to recapture my femininity.

I just had to laugh at this video when I saw it. I believe it illustrates such a wonderful moment when this father realizes that he really IS the father of a GIRL.

I know that boys can talk, but I have gained a new appreciation for a LACK of communication after watching this! Too too cute!

Duke and I have known this man for an embarrassing number of years. His name is Ted Stambolitis. All of our sons have chosen at some point to celebrate a birthday at his restaurant. We've watched that restaurant grow from a busting at the seams little cafe to a major attraction in our town (still busting at the seams). He's moved since opening and built a beautiful little mall that features his place. It's the kind of eatery that veterans of war, patriots and little kids alike all have a great time.

But the NICEST thing I can say about this guy is that he is a friend. He's the kind of friend that is genuinely interested in people.

It took me a while to realize that. I'd known some less than sterling characters in my life. I should have known he was different when Duke pronounced him okay (another story, I've since learned to trust my husband's judgment of character).

This man didn't become the success he is today because we were his friends. If every friend we knew ate at his place (and we've likely dragged them all there at one time or another), it wouldn't account for much in his bottom line. But if you ever go with us to his place, you'd think that we paved the parking lot for him and gifted him the mortgage.

As it is, the most we did was gladly buy a brick with our names on it to sit in front of his establishment, and Duke gave him some stamp memorabilia to hang on his wall. I say hang. Would you believe that he has the things bolted to his walls?

Knowing this man has been a privilege. He's one of the good guys that deserves every good thing that comes his way and then some.

If all of this wasn't enough, there's yet another reason we enjoy him so much.

We seldom go out to eat. It really isn't in our budget. Z-man is getting to the stage in his life where he is conversational and very outgoing. We are working on a lot of things to do with social skills with him. We are finding that people are often nice but just unsure of what they should do. It's always a balancing act for me to try and decide how much of my time and attention needs to be spent trying to make them feel comfortable, translate Z's confusing speech and how much time I should spend reinforcing lessons learned at home . . . or figuring out when to just let things go and relax. When we go out as a family, our behavior speaks to our faith, and it shapes perceptions about what it means to be a family with a special needs child.

That's one of the reasons I just love Ted Stambolitis so much. When we visit his restaurant, he acts like we have just done him the greatest honor. He finds us the best seat and tells our server to give us the best treatment.

Today, Z-man turned 6 years old. As his brothers before him, he got to go out and eat at Mr. Ted's place. Ted greeted us warmly and inquired about our health, asked how my parents were doing, etc. When we were all done with our meal, Ted told us to wait just a minute.

He went into the back and stopped his busy staff. He collected all of them and somewhere found a candle which he stuck into a HUGE chocolate chip cookie. Moments later, they were surrounding our table, clapping hands and singing 'Happy Birthday' to one delighted little boy.

Z'man was thrilled and bounced along as they sang. Then he leaned forward and blew out the candle! In case you didn't hear that, I'll repeat it.
My little guy blew out his own candle!

Years of speech therapy. LOTS of work. We knew he had the skills, but never before this day has he spontaneously blown out his own candle. Maybe it's because we always held our own breath and watched to see if he would, if he could.

Tonight, it was just Ted and his crew cheering him on like it was no big deal.

But it WAS a big deal. Thanks to Ted Stambolitis and the Flight Deck, we all got a gift for Z-man's birthday. My boy blew out his candle. And I'm still crying just to think of it. It is SO GREAT to have those moments of normalcy.

Such a milestone. Such a treasure. A gift to us from a friend who was just doing what he always does. How do you say thankyou to someone like that? A person that goes out of his way to celebrate what is meaningful to you?

I don't know. These few words don't really convey what I'm feeling. But, if any of you are ever in the neighborhood and want a bite to eat, I highly recommend stopping in at the Flight Deck. You'll get your money's worth and then some!

About 8 years ago, I met a man that worked at a school for troubled youth. I asked him about how successful his program was – how well the graduates did when they returned to the circumstances they had left. His answer was both simple and profound.

“Jesus works every time He’s tried.”

Wow. It’s true, you know. Every time He’s tried – every time we look to Him for the solution instead of some substitute – He works. The answers aren’t always what we’d choose or want (left to our own devices), but I’ve found in my own life that when I’m willing to lay aside my own wisdom, fears, uncertainty and doubts and look to His wisdom, then my life is filled with purpose – a nobility, if you will – that was lacking when I muddled through on my own steam.

In my own strength, I can become frustrated when I see that so many people are motivated to manipulate others into meeting their needs. In contrast, when we see this life as a proving ground for the one to come, then poor choices of those we love take on a larger importance. I grieve for what it reveals about the heart, instead of railing against their actions or looking for a clever way to respond.

That’s quite a contrast when you think about it. Most individuals are just looking for a way to get past the current irritation or obstacle. They’d be glad to try anything or anyone if the results would accomplish a desired result.

Parents are considered successful if their children manage to become adults before becoming parents themselves. Keep the kids off of drugs and out of jail. You’ll be declared a successful parent.

Marry a spouse that doesn’t cheat or abuse you, and the marriage is called a success.

If our family members don’t embarrass us or cause us undue discomfort, the family is held up as an example for others to follow. When there is embarrassment or discomfort, it’s called ‘dysfunctional.’ But don’t despair; you’re just one good daytime television counseling session away from a solution. Just follow all of the steps on the latest checklist and you too will be called a success.

That, to me, is a hollow definition of success.

The heart remains the same. We clean up the outward appearance and ignore the inside. The stuff that set things rolling in the wrong direction remains the same, but for all appearances it looks really good. We tell ourselves that the problem is with everyone else. That we are a product of our environment and that if those around us would just apologize and treat us with respect and love and care enough to stop being so . . . well . . . dysfunctional . . . THEN our lives would be better, at least.

Then that Jesus guy gets in the way of our line of reasoning again:

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. 26 Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also. 27 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness. 28 Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity. (Mattheew 23:25-28).

I remember a time when mamas would stay up all night on their knees weeping and praying for a wayward child or husband or loved one. They prayed for their souls; for their children to desire HIM above all else. Now, I wonder if we haven’t started settling for a lot less . . . If we aren’t just asking God to make the road smooth without looking to see which way that road is headed?

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. 26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? (Matthew 16:24-26)

I heard an old recording this past week of a prison worship service. At the end, one of the inmates prayed to close the meeting. Have you ever heard someone pray with such power that you KNEW God heard? That incarcerated man prayed like that. He prayed with authority and power. While workers in the prison were free to come and go, something tells me that few experienced the freedom that this man knew. I wonder if he had a loved one that had prayed earnestly for his soul?

There are people that I love that have driven me to distraction with their irresponsible behaviors. Often, my angst comes from irritation that they have inconvenienced or embarrassed me. That’s to my own shame.

There really is a bigger picture after all. The difficulty is that I’m bumping up against people who need more than a nice white-washing on the outside. They need to be made new. It’s time to stop telling people to turn over a new leaf or re-commit to doing better. It’s time to fall down on our knees and pray for new life – for people to turn to Jesus.

He really does work EVERY TIME He’s tried.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. II Corinthians 5:17

When I was 21, I was the smartest thing you’d ever seen. My grades reflected what my teachers said: I was gifted and smart. I knew everything I needed to know and everything everyone else needed to know (I thought). I also believed that if my family and friends had all just listened to me, things would have gone SO MUCH BETTER!

Honestly, I took offense when people doubted my "wisdom" – which I dispensed liberally. No matter how many times I was proved ‘right,’ I lacked credibility. Why wouldn’t they listen? Why did I always have to explain my reasoning? Why couldn’t they just take my word for it? I wasn’t STUPID! It puzzled me that people struggled with things that seemed so straightforward and simple (to me, anyway).

I was well-read. I had passion. I was disciplined. I was inexperienced. I had drive. I WAS 21!

NOW, I’m far past that age. I’m still smart, but I’m a whole lot less cocky about what I know. I’ve got a lot more questions than answers, and I’m constantly checking (and re-checking) my sources. I’ve seen bedrocks of human wisdom crumble on more than one occasion. . . . And I’m starting to find that there was a lot MORE information than the surface stuff I was satisfied to swallow in my younger days.

Take praying, for instance.

I used to bend God’s ear with long diatribes about what was wrong with the relationships in my life and ask Him to fix those people who were just driving me nuts. With sobs of emotion I begged Him to change my loved ones. I would ask Him to make others more patient, loving, caring, and attentive . . . to ‘grow’ them into the people they ought to be (so that they could love an appreciate me as – as He would want them to, right?). I would tell Him how bewildering it was that they would treat me so carelessly . . . Me, the child He loved so well. I would picture Him cradling me in a gesture of sympathy.

I don’t know how He stood it, but He did and loved me in spite of myself. He showed me that I didn’t have the first clue about what was really needed . . . and that He was using “those people” to work some things out in my own life. Smart as I was, He knew I needed some tweaking (a BIT! ).

Praying for my husband is a place where I’m continuing to grow. My prayers for this man used to be that God would make him more this or less that because it was hard on the children or me or our circumstances or WHATEVER. I was praying for God to give me the kind of husband that would make my life easier . . . because things would be easier if everyone just did what God told us to do, right? Isn’t that what this life is all about? Smooth sailing for those that serve well? . . . Not really!

Silly woman that I am, I had forgotten that God had dibs on my man. God made that man for a reason and has a plan for his life. I was created to be his help meet. God’s designs for my husband aren’t subject to my comfort. This life is a proving ground for things yet to come. In the myriad of details, it’s easy to lose focus of that.

I read where someone had been praying for her husband to develop the traits described in Titus 1 and I Timothy 3 even though her husband isn’t serving in any of those offices. The thinking was that if God finds these things important for a man to be a leader, then she wanted her husband to have these things worked into him THAT HE MIGHT BE READY TO SERVE in WHATEVER capacity the Lord needs him . . .

Ooops! I needed to sharpen my focus. If you read them, you’ll find that those verses have a bit to say about the wife of such a man . . . We need to get ready too. Ulp!

So, here I’ve been praying for a life free of conflict and struggle for me and for my dear husband. I hadn’t been asking God to prepare us for whatever HE wanted. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I did ask Him to have His will and way, but my earnest prayers were towards my own desires. I had forgotten that the Potter already had something in mind when He began to shape and mold us.

Now, I’m looking at my wonderful husband and seeing our circumstances in a new light. He’s in God’s boot camp, and God is working some things into his life and my life that we are going to need. I’d think we were too old for that, but God doesn’t. Those are muscles being formed in God’s refinery. No one must have told God about how old dogs can’t learn new tricks. . . . Then again, He made the old dogs. Guess He should know what can hunt and what can’t.
[Apologies for the country, hound-dog analogies ]

At any rate, my prayers have changed to asking God to work these things into my husband’s life that he will be READY for what GOD has in store and not to satisfy my small vision . . . and that He make me a wife worthy of this man He has chosen to use.


My! The years do change perspective. I believe that’s a good thing, though!

I’m what my husband calls a cheap date. He grins and winks when he says that, so I’ll take it as a compliment.

The reality is that I LOVE spending time creating something or having fun without spending a lot of money. This doesn’t mean that I don’t like paying the price of admission or having a meal out every now and then. It just means that I REALLY enjoy a picnic, a potluck, repairing things, painting, hammering, etc. I like to fly when I need to get somewhere fast, but I thrill to the adventure of a car trip.

Staying in a hotel room is nice. I like to see the new features, like the time I stayed in a hotel that had a television screen built into the bathroom mirror. (Somehow it was appropriate that the Beverly Hillbillies was being broadcast.) Of course, at some point I begin to wonder about who stayed there last and used those sheets, etc. (I know, I know, the sheets were laundered and the staff works hard to ensure that everything is clean. . . . . ) BUT, I LOVE the night air as I fall asleep under the stars and awake to the sound of birds chirping.

It’s not my fault, really. I grew up in a large family and Dad insisted we camp. He trained us to be frugal and love a bargain. For Mom, it was splurging to go to the discount store and (gasp) buy something without telling Dad first. So, blame them. *smiling*

My husband had some days off recently, and we didn’t need to spend the money on a road trip to some memorable place. I must admit that I wondered if our time together would turn into a stretch of forced confinement.

I shouldn’t have doubted the creativity of my family.

The boys, with dad in tow, took several trips together while I took care of some items around the house. They enjoyed the library, the local hardware/building supply store, went to see the chicken lady about eggs and ran other assorted errands. The boys were fine with this even though it entailed looking at the back of Daddy’s head as he drove them from place to place. They were his happy escorts.

Once hubby wore himself out running, he attacked the wood pile and worked up a good sweat splitting firewood. One of his favorite things to do there is get a log too big for to handle (there didn’t used to be any of those). He will give it a good try and then call our oldest son over (he’s over 6 ft and likes to show off his muscles). It’s always a thrill to watch that boy man cut through stuff like butter.

The ‘iron man’ competition came to a halt when the rain started. It lasted long enough that hubby found things to do indoors. After he replaced the burnt out light bulbs, he decided that we would create our own seminar and outreach project.

He pulled out a DVD set on a subject he wanted to research. We started going through the series and taking notes together.

What’s fun is that my husband doesn’t necessarily agree with everything the speaker says. This means that we have an extra session at the kitchen table the next morning to hear hubby’s take on things and what his thoughts are on the matter. There’s nothing as interesting to me as getting to see how that man’s mind works.

The outreach project involves the coupon section of the newspaper. Because we don’t stock processed foods, we never use those coupons. At the local library, the boys noticed that people are exchanging coupons. So, dad & boys spend about 15 minutes each day, looking for and cutting out coupons to contribute the next time we go. It’s a learning experience as they see how very little actual food can be purchased with coupons. (We call real food something that came from the farm, without a lot of processing.)

When the rains let up, the boys moved outside where our resident 9-yr-old ‘Park Ranger’ decided to set up his own ‘National Park.’ He got this idea as he has been logging onto this site to become an online park ranger. Our grill and bench table became the ‘picnic area.’ The end of the driveway became the ‘visitor parking.’ The house is the ‘ranger station’ and the bedrooms are ‘cabins.’ The tent was set up and became the ‘camping area.’ The swing is now labeled the ‘playground.’ The woods behind the house are the ‘nature trail.’ All of this (of course) is identified by several cardboard, hand-lettered signs secured with (what else?) duct tape.

I think they even have plans to utilize the stimulus package if it ever trickles down.

This led to a backyard overnight camping trip. I declined the invitation because I am a pretty good judge of where little boys in a tent always end up. I smiled knowingly when my husband came inside the next morning telling me about whose foot ended up where and how many
times he was awakened.

Meanwhile, I had a quiet night IN.

The tent remained up and I asked hubby if we could have it to ourselves, just the two of us. He seemed pleased with the idea, but a day or two went by where he seemed to forget.

I reminded him of my request. Hubby said he wasn’t going to spend the night in the tent because it was going to rain. I can blame this one on my parents also. Every time I sleep in a tent, it rains. It would be strange for me to camp when it DIDN’T rain.

I knew the tent would be packed away soon, so I put the boys to bed one evening and kissed hubby goodnight. I said I’d see him in the morning and smiled widely. Then, I went outside to make myself comfortable.

As an aside, you shouldn’t tell little boys when you are going to sleep in the tent outside. Put them to bed and just go. If they know where you are, they WILL find you . . .

I wasn’t surprised when hubby joined me with extra pillows.

It was a WONDERFUL time. We lay there and listened to the night sounds, talked about our children, our life together, our future and held hands as a misting rain splattered on the tent. This morning, we awoke naturally to the sounds of birds greeting the day (instead of the tap-tap-tapping at our door and the little voice saying, ‘Mama?’). If you didn’t know any better, you’d think we were a couple!

My sweet husband slipped into the house and returned to our little hiding place with coffee. It’s good for old folks to sneak off together every now and then.

It’s been a WONDERFUL vacation!

If one of my family members were to become ill, I know that I (or someone I know) would have some ideas about things I could try with promising results. I wouldn’t be dependent upon whichever course the doctor I could afford to see might offer. I would have options. It’s reassuring to have this information.

Having options though isn’t all it’s cracked up to be sometimes.

I was in another city attending a conference. The name of the conference wasn’t specific. We were learning about laws affecting natural and alternative health care. I was in the lobby one morning and noticed that several people had paid a fee to get into the center. They were wandering from one booth to another, looking for someone – anyone – that might know what they could try because the doctors done all they could.

They thought that at THIS conference, SOMEONE might have a single dose of SOMETHING that would be the answer they needed.

Some had money. Others were just looking for hope. All of them wanted to live. We tried to point them to the right resources, knowing that they may have waited too long . . .

For the last few weeks we have been praying for a relative in a medical crisis. Only now, we discovered that she had been living with secret knowledge that something was dreadfully wrong. She had been doing this for two years. She thought that her only option was to go to a doctor or suffer.

I don’t know what going to a doctor meant for her. I don’t know if she thought she would have been embarrassed, incapacitated, shamed, or if it just meant that she would lose control. Maybe she was just tired and wanted some privacy. Whatever the reason, she didn’t go. Because she didn’t tell anyone, she didn’t know that she had options. She didn’t ask. And so she got worse.

When the pain got bad enough, she went to the doctor. The surgeon assured her that he could do his part and have her on the mend.

She went into the hospital, offering words of instruction and love – trying to say goodbye in her own way. Everyone told her there was no need to worry.

We repeated ourselves when she was out of surgery and doing well.

Plans were made for physical therapy and an aid to help her with her recovery. Everything was going according to schedule.
After a few days, the diarrhea and the fever came. Then the breathing became difficult.

And she was gone.

Maybe it was the way she wanted it to be. I don’t know. For two years she hurt. She avoided the doctors. There were options, but she didn’t know them. We didn't know she was suffering.

I don’t know that her life would have been any longer with natural medicine. I know she could have had a measure of comfort and control. Who knows? She might even have recovered.

But those are things we can never know. She’s gone and it’s too late.

Why do I tell you this? I tell you because there are some things more important than knowing just the right herb or remedy. I think we have to learn how to cultivate the kinds of relationships that garner us the trust of those we love most. It isn’t about being right in the end. It’s about whether or not they will let you hold their hand and offer some measure of comfort.

Families are funny. We think that because someone is related to us that he or she should just understand and accept us at our worst. We subject them to our highs and our lows and think that a relationship so abused will be able to draw us together in tragedy . . . But we are wrong.

When the choice is life or death, you discover who a person truly trusts, who they will go to for counsel. When the minutes become moments, how a person spends them becomes very telling indeed.

I write this for a few reasons. If you are one of those who is excited about all that you are learning and people are hiding items in their pantry from you to avoid the lecture they know will come . . . You would do well to step back and rethink your approach. You may mean well, but they don’t trust your motives. They feel judged and humiliated and your input isn’t welcomed. Try investing in that PERSON. Tie some strings to their heart and develop a relationship. With time, you may find that they will ask you for your input, but you’ll have to earn it.

If you are one of those that thinks your dear ones will just have to learn to accept you for who you are and they need to accommodate your emotions, it’s time to put that aside. There truly ARE things more important than our little feelings. Don’t wait for the circumstances of life to convince you of that. The time is shorter than you think.

Finally, if you’d like to preserve your health but can’t afford the latest alternative health guru that flew into town, keep learning. There is information – good information – out there, but it takes time and study. The time to study is NOW. . . BEFORE a health crisis. Knowing stuff gives you options. Researching these things tells you who else is out there learning.

Something you learn could give you the time you need to make a difference. You won’t regret trying.

Sorry for the soapbox moment. *blush* Maybe this will do some good before it's too late for someone you love.

ALSO KNOWN AS:
Avena sativa

PARTS USED
The parts of the oat plant left after harvesting the grain. This includes the threshed stem, leaf and milky tops, fresh or dried.

PHYTOCHEMICALS & NUTRIENTS
Benzaldehyde, beta-carotene, beta-ionone, beta-sitosterol, betaine, caffeic acid, campesterol, carbohydrates, caryophyllene, chlorophyll, ferulic acid, lignin, limonene, p-coumaric acid, quercetin, scopoletin, silicic acid, sinapic acid, stigmasterol, vanillic acid, vanillin.

Calcium, folate, iron, magnesium, manganese, phosphorus, potassium, selenium, zinc, vitamins A, B1, B2, B3, B5, B6, and E

PROPERTIES & USES
Oatstraw contains an effective mix of calcium, magnesium, zinc and B vitamins that acts as an antidepressant, restorative nerve tonic, and relaxant. B vitamins are crucial for healthy brain and nervous system function. Zinc deficiencies are common in sufferers of depression.

INSOMNIA, BEDWETTING, ANXIETY
Taken internally this herb increases perspiration and helps to ease insomnia while relieving bed-wetting. Potassium, calcium, magnesium and vitamin A combine to support good bladder muscle function and relieve muscle cramps.

· Potassium is critical for the body to metabolize calcium and magnesium. It helps relieve muscle cramps.

· Calcium alleviates tension, irritability, anxiety and depression.

· Magnesium is necessary for proper nerve function, relieving anxiety, tension and nervousness. Best taken with calcium.

Because oatstraw is a whole food, the body is able to access the bio-available nutrients and access them for the greatest benefit. Nutrient supplements are seldom able to duplicate this.

NICOTENE WITHDRAWAL
The nutrients in oatstraw are thought to help with nicotine withdrawal. For this purpose, the extract is said to be effective. I believe a tincture would suffice, as well. For tobacco withdrawal, mix 1 teaspoon liquid extract or tincture into ¼ cup water and drink three times daily.

Oatstraw is often taken as a dried powder, in capsules, or as a tea.

NAIL GROWTH
Oat straw tea drank several times a day encourages healthy nail growth. Or, place 1 teaspoon liquid extract in ¼ cup water and drink the mixture twice daily.

If you are using a tincture, take one ounce (1 mL) three times a day.

SEXUAL STIMULANT?
Studies are inconclusive as to the value in this area. However, many report that this is one of the benefits of adding oatstraw to their diet. As the endocrine system responds favorably to nutritive support, it would not be surprising that this would follow as a natural result of adding oatstraw to the diet.

OATSTRAW TEA
To make a tea, pour 1 c (240 ml) of boiling water over 1 tablespoon (3 g) of the dried oatstraw. Cover and allow to steep for 10–15 minutes and then strain. Drink at least three times daily to alleviate symptoms or as often as you like.

TOPICAL APPLICATIONS
Oatstraw is a good soother for skin disorders including neuralgia, shingles and genital herpes.

The tea made from this herb can be utilized as a wash. The powder, tea, or tincture is often added to skin care products (i.e. soaps and skin conditioners).

To soothe a skin irritation add small amounts of warmed milk to a tablespoon of powdered oatstraw until you have made a paste. Apply to the skin irritation and cover with plastic wrap. Secure the plastic and leave in place for 30 minutes to an hour. Repeat as often as needed for relief. This method can also be utilized to make a facial treatment.

An oatstraw bath can provide relief for skin conditions and neuralgia. Boil 1 lb (500 g) of shredded oatstraw in 2 qt (0.95 L) of water for 20 minutes. If powdered, use ¼ to ½ cup of oatstraw. Strain the mixture and add it to the bath.

CAUTIONS & CONSIDERATIONS
Wild oat has not been associated with any health risks. There are no known side effects associated with designated dosages of wild oat. However, people diagnosed with celiac disease should consult with a doctor or health practitioner to determine if they can safely take wild oat internally.

Disclaimer: None of this is to be considered a substitute for medical examination and/or treatment. Use what you will, but do so knowing that you must consider your own circumstance and the application of these things with sound judgment.

I was running errands and stopped in the little neighborhood store near my home. The store is actually a converted shed that sells an assortment of home made goodies. They retail some homemade soap and laundry detergent made by my friend. Since my friend is about a 45 minute drive and the store is in the neighborhood, I stop in to purchase at the shed.

In the back, they’ve got a little kitchen/café where some cooks that know how to do what grandma did serve up home-cooked meals to eat in or take out. There, on a shelf above the dining area, is my friend’s soap.

The bell clanked against the door as I entered the dining area. I noted that a gentleman and two ladies were eating at the table and chairs directly under the shelf containing the soap. “Excuse me,” I apologized. “I’m just going to grab some soap. I don’t mean to interrupt.” I reached up and got the bin, pulling out a few bars of soap and a couple of bags of laundry detergent.

Since we are in a friendly town in the South, it wasn’t at all strange to me that a conversation ensued about the merits of the soap. I was only too happy to tell them about how my friend came to make her soap, etc. Of course, this led to side conversations about how our little town isn’t little any more and is growing, etc.

At some point, the gentleman smiled and began to rummage in the pocket of his slacks saying, “I know! I need to give you a frog!”

It didn’t really faze me much. In my house, if someone says he’s got a frog in his pocket, it’s not all that unusual. Then I saw the appalled look on the lady’s face next to him, “Oh,” she exclaimed, “You’d better tell her what you mean!” That got a good-natured chuckle.

If you know me, it wouldn’t surprise you to know that all of this transpired without me ever getting everyone’s name. I inherited that gift from my mom. She (and I) can easily meet and have interesting conversations with anyone and never get the name. I figure this way they’ll never know for sure if I’m ready for a care facility :-D.

I continued to watch as this man actually DID pull out several plastic and rubber frogs of all colors and offered me one for myself, Duke, B and Z-man. As he did, he explained that someone had told him that F.R.O.G. was an acronym for Fully Rely On God. He liked the message and its truth so much that he began purchasing these little frogs to carry with him everywhere and share with people, telling them that they need to Fully Rely On God.

WHAT A BLESSING!

I thanked those kind folks and gave them a card with information on how to find No Greater Joy’s web site.

Early the next day (before decent people are normally awake *wink*) as Duke was getting ready to go to work, I slipped him the large green frog and told him the story. He smiled, stood a little straighter and slipped his frog into his pocket.

Now, we all have little pocket reminders to Fully Rely On God. I am so grateful that this servant of the Most High was willing to share this blessing with me and my family.

Have you remembered to F.R.O.G. today?

What a friend we have in Jesus,

What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he'll take and shield thee;
thou wilt find a solace there.

Text: Joseph M. Scriven, 1820-1886
Music: Charles C. Converse, 1832-1918

Fish is a wonderful addition to a healthy diet. A single serving per week can greatly reduce your chances of heart disease. Deep-sea, oily fish (salmon, tuna, swordfish, sole, flounder) are good sources of omega-3 and other long-chain fatty acids as well as fat-soluble vitamins A and D. Fish provide an organic source of needed iodine for proper development on a cellular level. (see post Iodine, Required for Health) Ocean fish feed upon the nutrient rich stores of ocean plant life that grow in waters fed from the mineral laden waters that flow from the land.

You should know, however, that battered and deep fried catch of the day won’t offer you all of the benefits you would like to have. There ARE types of fish that are worth avoiding.

We avoid farm raised fish, fish with skin (not scales), shellfish, and fish caught in shallows near the shore. We consume wild-caught, deep water fish that have scales.

We avoid farm raised fish because we cannot confirm that the water source is pure. Even treated ponds are subject to government approved treatments and they may not catch everything. We avoid fish with skin because these absorb toxins in two ways: first, they absorb toxins through their skin, secondly, they consume whatever leftover material is in the water – that includes carcasses of other sea life. Shellfish operate in much the same manner. These creatures exist as nature’s purifiers, constantly cleaning and filtering the waters in which they live. Consuming this type of fish would mean that we would also be consuming any toxins they had removed from the water.

That means that we consume fish with gills and scales wild-caught in deep waters (away from PBC and other contaminated shorelines). You can usually find frozen fillets in your grocery store. Check the fine print on the package to see where the fish was caught, whether or not it was farm-raised and where it was processed.

Now, if you’ve stuck with me this far, you are to be applauded. You’ve learned more about fish than Duke ever cared to know. All he knows is that he ends up eating fish every week which is better than when I find and serve organic beef liver (maybe a future post). Don’t get me wrong, if you offer Duke a large plate of battered and fried fish, a tub of tartar sauce (none of that cocktail sauce for him) and a generous dollop of grits, then he’s thrilled.

Unfortunately for Duke, his fish is baked or broiled, seasoned with sea salt and paprika and served steaming hot with veggies. He doesn’t complain, but he does grab the mayonnaise (organic) and place a nice glob on top of his fish.

Duke’s not the only one that misses our old fish eating habits. I remember how my parents used to save up the fish they caught for a big pot of catfish stew. . . Y-U-M! The spicy tomato sauce and chunks of fish would cook in their seasonings until just before you popped with anticipation . . . They never had large enough spoons!

Again, this sent me into my laboratory kitchen. I rummaged around and found an old catfish stew recipe, made a few changes and came up with a result that (I think) rivals my childhood memories. The fellas around here liked it well enough for more than one helping. See if you like it as well as they did.

SALMON STEW

• 2 to 3 pounds of Salmon Filets (deep sea, wild-caught), cut into bite-size chunks
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 1, 28 oz can organic, diced tomatoes (or about a pound of fresh, peeled and diced)
• 1, 6 oz can organic tomato paste
• ½ to 1 tbsp oregano (I like more than some people)
• 2 bay leaves
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1 tsp chili powder (to taste)
• ½ to 1 tsp cayenne
• 2 tbsp agave nectar (or raw honey)
• red and green peppers, chopped to equal about ½ to 1 cup

The last 4 ingredients and sea salt I just adjust to suit my taste.

This is one of my dump and cook recipes. Place it all into your stew pot and stir the ingredients. Add enough filtered water to bring up the level a little above the solid ingredients and to dissolve the tomato paste. Raise the temp to med-high, watching for it to bubble, stirring frequently. Once the stew begins to bubble, lower it to simmer for 30 minutes to an hour. The cooking time is a little longer if the fillets are still frozen. I just use my large knife to cut the frozen fillets into chunks. Watch to be sure the water level doesn’t get too low or you could scorch your stew. It can be served over rice or plain. I prefer it plain.
Yields 8 to 10 generous portions.

I know there are some individuals that add potatoes to their fish stews. I’ve sampled their attempts at fish stew. The starch in the potatoes is drawn out into the stew by the tomatoes. I don’t like the resulting taste or texture. It seems a disservice to perfectly good potatoes and fish. But I won’t debate that there are those who prefer potatoes in their fish stew. If you like, toss some potatoes into your stew and see if you like it better. For me, a recipe is actually just a suggestion or a starting point to launch your own creative culinary talents. Have fun!

Three years ago, I attended a seminar for parents learning about how to implement the Casein Free/Gluten Free diet. We had already started incorporating the CF/GF diet on our own to help ensure that Z-man didn’t encounter difficulties with digesting gluten.

The degreed nutritionist taught the seminar with a book by Lisa Lewis (Special Diets for Special Kids) on her lap and the book Unraveling the Mystery of Autism and PDD by Karyn Seroussi on her briefcase. The significance of this is that the Seroussi book I already had at home after seeing its review on the Bulk Herb Store web site. The book by Lisa Lewis, was recommended in the Seroussi book, and I had checked it out from the local library. (I didn’t add the Lewis book to my library.)

I listened as the nutritionist answered several questions with “I don’t know.” At one point, I did tell her where the answer to one of the questions was located in her book so that she could look it up. I went there feeling very intimidated and thinking I had so much more to learn (I’m still learning *smile*), but I left there encouraged in the way God has supplied the many needs for our family.

If you’ve read much about our early days with Z-man’s diagnosis, you will know that one of our greatest concerns was how or if we would be equal to the task of parenting a child with special needs. We knew we loved him, but we didn’t know if that was enough.

I’m here to tell you that your love coupled with God’s wisdom is exactly what your child needs. God can get you the information you need, packaged in a most effective way for your circumstances. I’m not here to tell you that you don’t need expert advice. I am here to tell you that the experts aren’t the expert on YOUR child. YOU are! With God’s guidance, you will be able to pick and sort your way through the decisions you must make.

That’s why I so highly recommend Sally Fallon’s book, NourishingTraditions along with Karen Sourissi’s book, Unraveling the Mysteries of Autism. While these books are both well written and interesting, they also provide parents with an education in how foods work and how they affect the development of a child – and overall health. These are reference volumes for how to evaluate your own circumstance and make choices in the best interest of your child and family.

I stumbled upon these books because God had placed into my hands literature from No Greater Joy ministries. I read the recommendations, invested in the books, and I am STILL benefiting from that decision.

At the seminar I mentioned, I was one of the better-prepared parents in attendance – and some of those parents had been doing this diet for 8 years! I not only understood the mechanics of the diet, but I understood why it works – something the nutritionist didn’t really seem to grasp.

Again and again, in this journey I have been reminded to praise my Loving Heavenly Father who takes the time supply His children with more than they need before they even know how to ask.

If you don’t have a copy, these books are often available at your local library. Check them out and see for yourself if you don’t think they are a necessary reference for every kitchen. These books can both be purchased new from Bulk Herb Store (http://www.bulkherbstore.com/NT and http://www.bulkherbstore.com/UMA). To save money, you can often find used copies available online. You can’t have mine. ;-)

`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`
Now unto him that is able
to do exceeding abundantly
above all that we ask or think,
according to the power that worketh in us,
21Unto him be glory
in the church by Christ Jesus
throughout all ages,
world without end.
Amen.
Ephesians 3:20,21

Beans, nuts grains and seeds are tiny testimonies of creation’s
wondrous design. All of these foods are types of seeds. Seeds are little machines that contain digestive enzyme inhibitors (known as phytic acids). These enzyme inhibitors prevent the seed from sprouting out of season or in less than ideal conditions. This allows for the seeds to be ingested by animals without being digested completely. The seeds then exit the animal and are ‘planted’ elsewhere.

If these enzyme inhibitors are left intact and consumed by humans, they can stop our own digestive enzymes from operating properly. In serious cases, this can lead to an imbalance of – or neutralization of – our own digestive enzymes. In ideal conditions, this may only cause occasional gas and discomfort. However, in a person exposed to today’s environmental assaults, it can easily domino into impaired health.

The process of germination neutralizes the enzyme inhibitors and releases the enzymes so that the seed will sprout. These same enzymes aid in the digestion of the food.

Sprouting beans produces vitamin C and changes the composition of the bean. The vitamin B content is increased along with carotene. The removal of phytic acid (enzyme inhibitors) through sprouting means that valuable minerals and nutrients are made available which include: calcium, copper, iron, magnesium, and zinc. Sprouting breaks down the complex sugars which produce digestive discomfort and inactivates carcinogens found in grains called aflatoxins.

The proper preparation of beans is a key to how well your family is able to receive nourishment from the food. If you need another reason (there are many) to not consume commercially canned foods, add this to the list. Establishing a lifetime of health for small children, in my opinion, means giving them every opportunity to BENEFIT from the foods they consume. Not sprouting beans (again, in my opinion) is like not taking the food out of the wrapper before requiring your family to eat them.

Even if your family does not have a member with fragile health or developmental issues, it is not a stretch to say that imbalances of the colon lead to chemical upheavals in the body that can have neurological implications. The human body is a system that makes constant adjustments to achieve balance. When we overtax that system, the most vital organs will suffer from the resulting imbalances. This includes brain development.

So, properly prepared, beans, grains, nuts – SEEDS – are a valuable part of an overall balanced and nutritious diet. Of course, you know if you’ve read much of my material, I’m going to recommend that you use organic beans that are free of pesticides and other chemical residue. :-D

HOW DO YOU SPROUT BEANS?

I soak them overnight in a covered container and rinse the next morning. I place a large piece of cheesecloth over the bowl and secure it with a rubber band. Then I turn the bowl downward at about a 45 degree angle so that it can drain. I find that setting it upturned in another bowl is good for this.

Throughout the day, I rinse with filtered water (chlorinated tap water is not recommended) and drain again (3 to 5 times). I've found that lentils sprout the quickest (they have the least phytic acid) -- usually the first day. Black beans are the next to sprout – just shy of two days. Pinto beans and kidney beans take about the same amount of time, two to three days. Most other larger varieties (chick peas, etc.) take about three days or a little longer. There isn't as much foaming when the beans are cooking after using this method. The process is very simple, but it does require a little planning ahead.

For cooking, I give the beans one more rinse and place in a stainless steel pot, covering them with filtered water. When the water is heated and foam appears, I skim the foam off of the beans and continue to simmer. Once the water has cooked down to about level with the top of the beans, I usually add homemade chicken broth (2 cups, of course, made from organic chickens) and some seasonings, allowing the pot to continue simmering on a low/medium heat for about 2 hours or longer (adding water as required).

Here are some of the spices I use when making a basic pot of beans. Everything is pretty much to your own taste.

• Cayenne Pepper
• Chili flakes
• Coriander
• Cumin
• Garlic – one large or two small cloves
• Onion – ½ large, chopped
• Ground Pepper
• Sage
• Sea Salt
• Thyme

My littlest ones won't eat overly spicy/hot dishes, but I find that the cayenne pepper has a nice flavor and (used in moderation) quite tasty in beans.

If you aren’t able to get your beans to sprout, I would be suspicious of whether or not the beans were truly free of chemicals. If a dried bean does not sprout it may have been treated with some sort of chemical or irradiated. If I had questions about a batch of beans, I would try to get a sample to sprout. I would be reluctant to consume beans that won’t sprout.