LEARNING AT THE POTTER'S WHEEL

Living with men has led me to discover a few things that they take for granted, but which are foreign to females. The funny thing is that I get the strangest looks from those I live with when these things occur. Because I am the only female in residence (besides the dog, and she'll go along with anyone that feeds her), they look at me as though they suspect I'm either in need of medication or just very confused.

• When it comes to movies, plot is never as important as action, fight scenes and pyrotechnics. If plot is part of the mix, that's okay, but not necessary.
• It's considered clean if you can't see the dirt. This includes dirt outside of your direct line of vision.
• It's still food it you picked it up off of the floor before the dog got to it.
• Ice cream is one of the major food groups.
• Having MEANT to say something is the same as having said it and you should have known what they meant.

There are different rules of conduct for the house depending on whether or not mom is in the room. I'm not sure where all of these differences lie, but all of the suspects males quickly settle down and look a little too innocent when I enter the room after hearing a herd of wild buffalo run through the house -- This even includes my spouse!

There are many others, but if you've lived with men, I'm sure you get the idea . . .

The scary interesting thing is that the longer I reside with these male creatures, the more their ways seem normal to me. Every now and then, I have to get around a group of females to recapture my femininity.

I just had to laugh at this video when I saw it. I believe it illustrates such a wonderful moment when this father realizes that he really IS the father of a GIRL.

I know that boys can talk, but I have gained a new appreciation for a LACK of communication after watching this! Too too cute!

As I sit here at my computer, my middle son is in our front yard talking to strangers. That goes against a lot of my maternal instincts.

When I got up this morning, he was already there, flagging down customers.

Customers!?

My husband took one look at my expression of concern and explained that he had sent him out there to get rid of our stash of video tapes.

He meant for his explanation to comfort me. Instead, it gave me additional concerns about my husband – momentarily.

I pulled myself back together and went to fix breakfast. This was going to be a learning experience for all of us.

I got a refresher course in trusting my husband’s judgment and protection over our children. He hasn’t left the window or door watching to be sure the little guy is okay. Of course, he does it just beyond the line of vision of the boy.

I also learned from watching my husband that this letting go business isn’t really any easier for fathers than it is for mothers. Duke was alternately cheering at every sale and expressing concern for whether or not the kid was chatting up costumers, remembering all of the prices and the tips he gave him for sales, etc. It was a good thing he was in the house, LOL.

Our son made several new friends and a little guy that rode his bike over to sit and chat with this new kid entrepreneur. He also learned about dealing with distractions, counting change, and that a Saturday spent in the front yard could earn him some money. Later today, he will likely learn a lesson on who to trust, depending on whether or not the neighbor who took several tapes returns to pay him the money.

The greatest return on the experience has been the excited look on B’s face when he comes running into the house to announce another dollar in sales. I do believe he is taller today as he contemplates the possibilities of his own ability to earn money and how that will only increase as he gains years and experience.

It’s been nice to see how gracious our neighbors are. Those boxes are full of westerns, war documentaries, classics and children’s videos. Ironically, grandmothers are the ones that have stopped and proved to be his best customers – God’s best encouragers.

Me? I’m having a ball watching it all. I keep trying not to grin too widely as I watch the menfolk navigate this new water. It’s nice to see solid proof of what I already knew. We've got some wonderful boys that take after their father. Duke is alternately concerned and delighted to see all he’s invested bearing fruit.

Something tells me that there is a trip to the dollar store coming soon.

ALSO KNOWN AS:
Plantago major
Plantago lanceolata L.
narrowleaf plantain, buckhorn plantain, broad-leaf plantain,

PARTS USED
Leaves (can also use roots and/or tops & seeds)

PHYTOCHEMICALS & NUTRIENTS
Adenine, allantoin, aucubin, apigenin, benzoic acid, caffeic acid, chlorogenic acid, cinnamic acid, ferulic acid, fiber, luteolin, oleanolic acid, p-coumaric acid, salicylic acid, tannin, ursolic acid, vanillic acid
Potassium, vitamin A

Description:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plantago
The leaves are attached by to the base of the plant rather than to a stalk or stem. The leaf is distinctive having three or five parallel veins that are spaced apart following the shape of the leaf, width depending on the species.

http://dnr.missouri.gov/greenbldg/wildflowers/english-plantain.htm
Narrow leaf plantain is also known as buckhorn or English plantain. It is native to Europe and reaches a height that ranges from six to 30 inches. From April to October, the plant blooms with a short spike of white flowers. It has been used traditionally in tea form as a remedy for coughs and diarrhea. The leaves help sores heal more quickly when applied topically.

PROPERTIES & USES

KIDNEYS
As a tea, plantain acts as a diuretic, helping reduce water retention and soothe the urinary tract with its demulcent (mucilaginous and soothing) properties. In this way, plantain supports kidney health.

LUNGS
Plantain also acts as an expectorant, helping remove excess mucous secretions from air passages. It is considered by some to be helpful in the slowing of tuberculosis bacteria.

VEINS
Plantain has anti-inflammatory properties and deobstruant properties that help reduce inflammation and clear areas obstructed by infection. This is also helpful for chronic infection of the lymph nodes.Some research has shown that it is helpful in lowering cholesterol (an inflammatory response) and controlling diabetes. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plantago

DIGESTIVE SYSTEM
Heartburn and indigestion are eased by use of plantain. This herb also has anti-microbial properties which help the body destroy or resist pathogenic micro-organisms -- this includes bacteria, fungi and viruses. Plantain is an alterative which means it balances the process of nutrient assimilation and excretion, restoring the body to normal function. A hepato-protective herb, plantain helps protect the liver.

SKIN
Some of the most dramatic uses of plantain involve those where it is applied topically. On contact, plantain has a healing, antibiotic and styptic (stops bleeding) effect. In a poultice, plantain is good for all kinds of insect bites and rashes including allergic skin reactions to poison oak, ivy, nettles and sumac. An anodyne, plantain is a pain reliever and soothing to skin irritation. I've seen it stop pain in 15 seconds, although this can vary. An anti-inflammatory, I've yet to see it fail to stop fire ant bites from turning into angry whelps. The astringent properties of this herb cause the tissues in the skin to tighten and dry fluid secretions. A vulnerary, plantain promotes wound healing and normalization of damaged tissues.

Other conditions that have been helped by plantain include the treatment of tumors and venomous bites.

The seeds of this herb are called psyllium seed and are used in many commercial laxative formulas. These same seeds are said to be helpful in the treatment of diabetes.

AS A FOOD
Young leaves of the broad leaf variety are tasty and can be eaten in salads.

AS A SUPPLEMENT
Plantago psyllium is a type of plantain whose seeds are used (psyllium seeds) as a fiber supplement (taken with LOTS of water) in many bulk laxative formulations -- commercial and natural. The husks of the seeds expand and become mucilaginous (similar to the texture of egg whites) when wet. This is helpful in the treatment of constipation, irritable bowel syndrome and diverticular disease.

FIRST AID
A good first aid plant to have close at hand. A few fresh leaves, crushed or chewed, can be used quickly to stop bleeding of an open wound, stop pain and inflammation of bites and stings, relieve itching from poison ivy. Its anti-toxin qualities have given it a reputation in folklore as being useful for snakebite.

TEAS, TINCTURES, SYRUPS
A cup of strong plantain tea will quell the worst indigestion. Taken as a tea, tincture or syrup, plantain can also relieve coughs and bronchitis.

ORAL PAIN
A small was of chewed leaf placed next to the gum will quiet a painful toothache until it can be attended to.

SALVE
Ointment made with olive oil extract of fresh plantain and a little beeswax is a very good general purpose remedy for many skin ailments, and is especially helpful with diaper rash.

JUST FOR FUN -- PLANTAIN WARS
During my childhood, we used to have plantain wars in the summer. We would pluck the long leggy stems and use them as ammunition. To do this, fold the stem over itself forming a loop and shove it forward while pulling backwards on the section of stem nearest the bud. This will cause the bud to pop off and shoot forward. With practice your aim can improve and catch your unsuspecting target off-guard.

CAUTIONS & CONSIDERATIONS
Do not mistake plantain for foxglove (Digitalis lanata), which has a similar appearance.

As with all herbs, avoid use of plants that have been exposed to toxic chemicals or have not been certified 'chemical free.'

DISCLAIMER: None of this is to be considered a substitute for medical examination and/or treatment. Use what you will, but do so knowing that you must consider your own circumstance and the application of these things with sound judgment.

You haven't really enjoyed a game of Uno until you've watched a game with Duke, myself and my parents. My parents are . . . well . . . experts at verbal sparring. Some might call it bickering.

My Dad is a stickler for details, to say the least. It's never a surprise that the game begins with him pulling out and reviewing the rules. Then he pronounces that the scoring is too complex and that he knows a better way. Rather than giving the winner of each hand the total points still held in the hands of the losers of that round, he decides to just tally each individual's points and play to 500 that way.

You might think this would make the game last longer, but keep in mind that if we are ever to START to play this game, we have to keep Duke and my mom interested. They are our two reluctant players. Mom just wants to enjoy the company and Duke doesn't really see much point in board or card games, but he's a good sport and competitive. So, at this critical juncture, debating how to keep score with Dad would be unwise and ensure that the game ended before it began.

While Dad offers unasked for explanations on how we proceed, Duke and I decorate the score sheet. Everyone has a column: Mom, Duke, Me and at the top of Dad's column I write "STICKLER." We hand Dad the sheet without comment, giggling as he mutters, "Well, this must be ME."

While Dad examines the score card, we hand Mom her head gear. This is necessary for her as she has the dickens of a time telling the difference between blue and green cards. She has other difficulties also, like remembering whether or not it's her turn, whether or not the draw 2 card is the same as the 2 card, what the funny symbol on the skip card means, etc. At any rate, the light clipped to the bill of a baseball cap gives her a good way to see whether or not she's holding green or blue cards and that is at least ONE problem solved.

So, now we have the Stickler and the Miner assembled and ready to play.

This leaves Duke to his own devices for a bit. By the time the Stickler is satisfied that we will not be breaking any moral codes of fair play and justice, it is likely that Duke has decided he needs to get some refreshments. Remember, he's a reluctant player, so he may spend some time trying to find reasons to instruct children. Eventually, he runs out of excuses distractions. It is at that point, that he sits down and becomes the Card Shark.

While Duke shuffles the cards, he calls out rules about Aces being wild, something about Jacks and things that would be considered cheating in some wild west saloons. He will often accuse others of dealing from the bottom of the deck and ask Mom if she is hiding cards in her bosom. To make matters even more interesting, he will play off of Mom's confusion and pretend that he forgot the rules also. This keeps my Dad in a bit of a tizzy as our resident Stickler.

The result is a hilarious evening of fun that the inventors of Uno could not have ever envisioned.

The Stickler cannot figure out why his score is so terrible as he struggles to keep the Miner and the Card Shark on track. The Card Shark is SURE that it really isn't required that he call out 'Uno' with his last card and feels that he is unjustly required to pick up penalty cards. The Miner keeps forgetting how to switch on her light, which the Stickler thinks would be a great addition to his fishing gear.

Me? I just laugh until I hurt.

Guess who won? I almost did. I went out several rounds before anyone noticed that I was winning. Then, things got a bit serious.

Yep, the Card Shark won. Figures!

Duke and I have known this man for an embarrassing number of years. His name is Ted Stambolitis. All of our sons have chosen at some point to celebrate a birthday at his restaurant. We've watched that restaurant grow from a busting at the seams little cafe to a major attraction in our town (still busting at the seams). He's moved since opening and built a beautiful little mall that features his place. It's the kind of eatery that veterans of war, patriots and little kids alike all have a great time.

But the NICEST thing I can say about this guy is that he is a friend. He's the kind of friend that is genuinely interested in people.

It took me a while to realize that. I'd known some less than sterling characters in my life. I should have known he was different when Duke pronounced him okay (another story, I've since learned to trust my husband's judgment of character).

This man didn't become the success he is today because we were his friends. If every friend we knew ate at his place (and we've likely dragged them all there at one time or another), it wouldn't account for much in his bottom line. But if you ever go with us to his place, you'd think that we paved the parking lot for him and gifted him the mortgage.

As it is, the most we did was gladly buy a brick with our names on it to sit in front of his establishment, and Duke gave him some stamp memorabilia to hang on his wall. I say hang. Would you believe that he has the things bolted to his walls?

Knowing this man has been a privilege. He's one of the good guys that deserves every good thing that comes his way and then some.

If all of this wasn't enough, there's yet another reason we enjoy him so much.

We seldom go out to eat. It really isn't in our budget. Z-man is getting to the stage in his life where he is conversational and very outgoing. We are working on a lot of things to do with social skills with him. We are finding that people are often nice but just unsure of what they should do. It's always a balancing act for me to try and decide how much of my time and attention needs to be spent trying to make them feel comfortable, translate Z's confusing speech and how much time I should spend reinforcing lessons learned at home . . . or figuring out when to just let things go and relax. When we go out as a family, our behavior speaks to our faith, and it shapes perceptions about what it means to be a family with a special needs child.

That's one of the reasons I just love Ted Stambolitis so much. When we visit his restaurant, he acts like we have just done him the greatest honor. He finds us the best seat and tells our server to give us the best treatment.

Today, Z-man turned 6 years old. As his brothers before him, he got to go out and eat at Mr. Ted's place. Ted greeted us warmly and inquired about our health, asked how my parents were doing, etc. When we were all done with our meal, Ted told us to wait just a minute.

He went into the back and stopped his busy staff. He collected all of them and somewhere found a candle which he stuck into a HUGE chocolate chip cookie. Moments later, they were surrounding our table, clapping hands and singing 'Happy Birthday' to one delighted little boy.

Z'man was thrilled and bounced along as they sang. Then he leaned forward and blew out the candle! In case you didn't hear that, I'll repeat it.
My little guy blew out his own candle!

Years of speech therapy. LOTS of work. We knew he had the skills, but never before this day has he spontaneously blown out his own candle. Maybe it's because we always held our own breath and watched to see if he would, if he could.

Tonight, it was just Ted and his crew cheering him on like it was no big deal.

But it WAS a big deal. Thanks to Ted Stambolitis and the Flight Deck, we all got a gift for Z-man's birthday. My boy blew out his candle. And I'm still crying just to think of it. It is SO GREAT to have those moments of normalcy.

Such a milestone. Such a treasure. A gift to us from a friend who was just doing what he always does. How do you say thankyou to someone like that? A person that goes out of his way to celebrate what is meaningful to you?

I don't know. These few words don't really convey what I'm feeling. But, if any of you are ever in the neighborhood and want a bite to eat, I highly recommend stopping in at the Flight Deck. You'll get your money's worth and then some!

About 8 years ago, I met a man that worked at a school for troubled youth. I asked him about how successful his program was – how well the graduates did when they returned to the circumstances they had left. His answer was both simple and profound.

“Jesus works every time He’s tried.”

Wow. It’s true, you know. Every time He’s tried – every time we look to Him for the solution instead of some substitute – He works. The answers aren’t always what we’d choose or want (left to our own devices), but I’ve found in my own life that when I’m willing to lay aside my own wisdom, fears, uncertainty and doubts and look to His wisdom, then my life is filled with purpose – a nobility, if you will – that was lacking when I muddled through on my own steam.

In my own strength, I can become frustrated when I see that so many people are motivated to manipulate others into meeting their needs. In contrast, when we see this life as a proving ground for the one to come, then poor choices of those we love take on a larger importance. I grieve for what it reveals about the heart, instead of railing against their actions or looking for a clever way to respond.

That’s quite a contrast when you think about it. Most individuals are just looking for a way to get past the current irritation or obstacle. They’d be glad to try anything or anyone if the results would accomplish a desired result.

Parents are considered successful if their children manage to become adults before becoming parents themselves. Keep the kids off of drugs and out of jail. You’ll be declared a successful parent.

Marry a spouse that doesn’t cheat or abuse you, and the marriage is called a success.

If our family members don’t embarrass us or cause us undue discomfort, the family is held up as an example for others to follow. When there is embarrassment or discomfort, it’s called ‘dysfunctional.’ But don’t despair; you’re just one good daytime television counseling session away from a solution. Just follow all of the steps on the latest checklist and you too will be called a success.

That, to me, is a hollow definition of success.

The heart remains the same. We clean up the outward appearance and ignore the inside. The stuff that set things rolling in the wrong direction remains the same, but for all appearances it looks really good. We tell ourselves that the problem is with everyone else. That we are a product of our environment and that if those around us would just apologize and treat us with respect and love and care enough to stop being so . . . well . . . dysfunctional . . . THEN our lives would be better, at least.

Then that Jesus guy gets in the way of our line of reasoning again:

Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. 26 Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also. 27 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness. 28 Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity. (Mattheew 23:25-28).

I remember a time when mamas would stay up all night on their knees weeping and praying for a wayward child or husband or loved one. They prayed for their souls; for their children to desire HIM above all else. Now, I wonder if we haven’t started settling for a lot less . . . If we aren’t just asking God to make the road smooth without looking to see which way that road is headed?

Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. 25 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. 26 For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul? (Matthew 16:24-26)

I heard an old recording this past week of a prison worship service. At the end, one of the inmates prayed to close the meeting. Have you ever heard someone pray with such power that you KNEW God heard? That incarcerated man prayed like that. He prayed with authority and power. While workers in the prison were free to come and go, something tells me that few experienced the freedom that this man knew. I wonder if he had a loved one that had prayed earnestly for his soul?

There are people that I love that have driven me to distraction with their irresponsible behaviors. Often, my angst comes from irritation that they have inconvenienced or embarrassed me. That’s to my own shame.

There really is a bigger picture after all. The difficulty is that I’m bumping up against people who need more than a nice white-washing on the outside. They need to be made new. It’s time to stop telling people to turn over a new leaf or re-commit to doing better. It’s time to fall down on our knees and pray for new life – for people to turn to Jesus.

He really does work EVERY TIME He’s tried.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. II Corinthians 5:17