LEARNING AT THE POTTER'S WHEEL

“I’m not having anything at my house this year,” Aunt E. sounded tired. “It’s just too much work. Your uncle and I are going out and relaxing this year.”

She was right. Every year, the crowd descended with a parade of casseroles and deserts made from mixes and filled Aunt E’s house. Even though she was told she didn’t have to cook anything, we all knew she would make her famous fruit salad and two or three turkeys (one baked, one fried, etc.). The week before, she would exhaust herself trying to catch up on the dusting, cleaning, and small home repairs that just weren’t a priority for two elderly people during the year. She slept very little, if at all, the two days prior to the event – between the cooking and her daughters coming in to decorate. All of this so that in a matter of hours, the house could look worse than when she began and she could begin the process of setting things back to rights, again.

For us, it meant that the mad morning rush of Thanksgiving would not be:

Usually, I would stay up the night before trying to get everything in place while the children were asleep. It’s just easier that way. Early Thanksgiving Day, the little ones would jump excitedly from their beds and proceed to inquire in 30 minute intervals if we were ready to leave yet. I would field their questions while putting the finishing touches on whatever dishes we would be taking to Aunt E’s house, encouraging the boys to go play (please!). Their excitement would be contagious and lead to my husband offering to help repeatedly. So, it would look something like this: Me checking the oven to see if stuff cooking in there was ready. Boys: “When are we leaving?” Me: “In a couple of hours. Go play in your room and put your shoes back on.” Me: stirring the pot on the stove to see if it’s cool enough to put into a travel container. Hubby: “Is there anything you need me to do? I brought in both coolers in case you needed one. Where do you want me to put the bag of ice? Should I go ahead and start packing the car?” Me (trying to decide which question to answer first): “No. I promise to ask if I need anything if you’ll just stay within ear shot and relax for now. I don’t need the coolers. Just put them down. Leave the ice outside for now. No, I’m not ready to pack the car.” Quickly, I grab a potholder and remove the dish from the oven, resetting the beeping timer. Meanwhile, the tea kettle begins to whistle. I remove it and remind myself to smile.

While I love and adore Aunt E., I wasn’t going to miss the chaos or the long drive. I knew what she was talking about. Thankfully, all of our extended family had other plans. With a very limited budget, we would be enjoying a simple, quiet time alone at home. This meant I was off the hook for organizing and cleaning for company also. I sighed happily.

Counting my pennies Wednesday, I decided that I might just have enough to afford a small bird for our family. When my husband got home from work, I went off to the health food store. I knew they had some frozen free-range, organic turkeys. Because we would be using the leftovers, I calculated the extra expense would be well worth it to avoid the hormones and chemicals in the farm-raised birds.

What I DIDN’T count on was the fact that there would be only two birds left. Even though I got the smaller one, it was still 23 pounds. Whew! That was an armload! I shook my head thinking of all the ways turkey leftovers can be prepared. I grabbed a couple of extra sweet potatoes, some raisins and some fresh cranberries and headed to the checkout.

When I got home, Mr. Turkey was thawed quickly in a galvanized tub of water while I started grating sweet potatoes for sweet potato pone. After the boys were in bed, I baked the sweet potato pone and prepared the turkey. He would bake during the night. Thursday morning, I cooked breakfast and sent the boys off to entertain themselves. They were more relaxed since we didn’t have any plans. I put the finishing touches on the meal and had enough free time to roll out the dough for an apple pie with one of the children.

My oldest dropped in and we had a truly relaxing time.

Then the phone rang.

Extended family had finished all of their more important visits and dining out. In waves, they began arriving. I hadn’t lifted a finger to do any ‘company is coming’ cleaning. The bookshelves were as they were. The office desk looked like, well, an office desk. There wasn’t any special centerpiece or tablecloth or freshly scrubbed floor. It was just US.

Of course the children all thought that the spare bedroom that doubles as a storage area was a GREAT place to play. The baby needed a bath in the tub with the broken faucet. This meant that my mom had to use the master bathroom, off of the master bedroom, which could only politely be called a disaster. At least by this time, I wasn’t too chagrinned as there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I just decided to enjoy myself and my family.

My nephew, J., made my day when he looked at the chalkboard in the kitchen. “Aunt D.,” he queried, “Do you have any leftovers?” “Sure, Baby, what do you want?” “Ya, got any stuffed eggs left?” I smiled and went to the refrigerator. I removed all but the ones I promised to send to work the next day with my husband. While I was at it, I pulled out the sweet potato pone. Coffee and leftovers mingled with sweet fellowship and conversation.

It was one of the most wonderful, unplanned Thanksgivings we’ve had.

I reflected on how it wasn’t really so important whether or not I was able to have all of the right ingredients in the right amounts with the right décor. Rather, it mattered that we had each other and – even though we claim that we’d rather do something else, be somewhere else – loved ones always seem to get together. Even the ones that couldn’t be here were remembered. We held them in our hearts.

I smiled to think how the really important things are the memories we share and not whether or not we remembered to wipe our feet or use the nice dishes.

Whenever I had anything and saw a fellow-being suffering, I was more anxious to

relieve him than to benefit myself. And this is one of the true secrets of my being a poor man to the present day. But it is my way. And while it has often left me with an empty purse, yet it has never left my heart empty of consolations which money couldn't buy; the consolation of having sometimes fed the hungry and covered the naked.

~~ David Crockett: His Life and Adventures,

by John .S. C. Abbott

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But Martha was cumbered about much serving,

and came to him, and said,

Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone?

bid her therefore that she help me.

And Jesus answered and said unto her,
Martha, Martha,
thou art careful and troubled about many things:
But one thing is needful:
and Mary hath chosen that good part,
which shall not be taken away from her.
Luke 10:40-42

Then Peter said,
Silver and gold have I none;
but such as I have give I thee:
Acts 3:6