LEARNING AT THE POTTER'S WHEEL

In an effort to maintain appearances, our family has occasionally suffered from a good case of, “I’m fine; Thank you.” At first it looks like a good condition to have. You no longer complain about little things. You appear to be even-tempered and unwilling to burden others with your maladies, physical or otherwise. But it is an insidious disease. By the time you realize you’ve had it, it has often robbed you of great chunks of time. This is time that you could have spent enjoying life.

For my youngest, IFTY (I’m fine; Thank you) presents itself as he takes on greater tasks than his ability. (see ‘A SpecPOOPular Day’) For my seven year old, IFTY appears as he imagines he already knows what you are going to say and misses what you actually said (Duke has a touch of that on occasion :-)). In Duke, the presentation of IFTY is in the form of some physical injury that he imagined would be too much trouble to take care of at the moment. Later, we end up applying poultices, lancing, drawing out infections, or applying salve. Once, we ended up at the emergency room because he thought that the best way to deal with pain was to ‘work through it.’

However, the worst cases of IFTY I’ve ever seen are most often found in MOMS. That’s right, if you are a Mom, you likely know what it is to suffer from a good case of IFTY. In fact, we aren’t even smart enough to have it affect us only in the ways I’ve already mentioned. We take it on in the areas of our emotions when dealing with genuine hurts. By the time we can no longer contain ourselves, we are ready to blame everyone else around us for our life-choking case of IFTY. In an effort to excuse our sickness, we then dump our poisons onto our loved ones.

I have an acquaintance who was suffering from a good case of IFTY. In her proper Southern way, she expected that those closest to her should somehow KNOW if she needed something. Unfortunately for her, she married an educator instead of a mind reader. One Sunday as she struggled to re-dress an active toddler and herd the other children out to the car, her case of IFTY grew into an eruption.

Every Sunday, her devoted husband would sit quietly in the car, reading the newspaper while he waited for the rest of the family to show up. On this fateful day, my friend finally ‘lost it’ and stormed out of the house. She marched to the car, children in various stages of dress following her and her own appearance somewhat skewed. With fire in her eyes she looked at her husband and said through clenched teeth, “WE HAVE A PROBLEM!” He calmly continued to read his paper and said, “Well, Honey, if WE have a problem, why are YOU the only one upset?”

I’ve never had the courage to ask her the rest of her story, but she says that something clicked in her that day. She realized that if she wanted help, she had to first admit that there was a need and ASK FOR HELP. Amazingly, brilliantly, simple. Not easy for everyone to do.

This stuff can lurk, hidden away for years under layers of IFTY. We sometimes want things to be right so badly that it’s just easier to pretend that they ARE. But if we never admit the malady, how can we receive treatment? It could take years, but eventually, all IFTY sufferers will experience an eruption. Unfortunately, some of us will only settle for a release of the built up tension – a lancing – and still not seek healing.

I thought I had gotten better at this stuff, but guess what? This week has shown me that I am susceptible to various forms of IFTY. Being inoculated from one form doesn’t make you immune to another. You really have to guard against this stuff.

Someone I admire greatly commissioned me to write about a time in my life that I had survived and, from all appearances, managed to come through nicely. However, my assignment was to write about the dark days when I wasn’t so sure how things would turn out. In the process, I re-experienced some of those same emotions. I realized that I had developed a slight case of IFTY over the whole thing. It took me a day or so to regain my footing.

Like Natural Medicine, getting rid of IFTY can require some steps. Here are mine:

Step 1: Identify the hurt. Stop saying, “I’m fine.” If you aren’t fine, admit it.

Step 2: Go to the PHYSICIAN. I didn’t say to burden your neighbor, your close friend, your sister, your mother, or even try to get your husband to listen to you. I said, GO TO THE PHYSICIAN. Why would you expect anyone else to do what only He can do?

Step 3: TELL HIM YOUR SYMPTOMS. This is important enough to repeat: TELL HIM YOUR SYMPTOMS. Don’t sit there and pray a pretty greeting card prayer with all of the proper forms and rituals of men. I wonder if He doesn’t get tired of those. Be honest enough to admit the feelings that He already knows you have. Tell Him your hurts. Trust Him with your heart.

Step 4: Ask Him for HIS remedy. You wouldn’t tell your surgeon HOW to do surgery. Why do we think we are wise enough to direct the Almighty in finding a remedy? Expecting a loved one to do what only God can do will also set you up for disappointment and frustration, not healing. Be willing to submit to HIS remedy in HIS own way.

Step 5: Follow the instructions. If He puts mud in your eye and tells you to wash it out in a muddy stream, who are you to argue? If He tells you to wait, why wouldn’t you? If He says to tell your husband (who may or may not understand), it’s worth the risk.

Here’s the catch: Once you’ve gone to the Physician, you don’t get to determine the if, when, or how of what He does. You only control your willingness to yield to His methods. He may require some outlandish things from you. He once told a man to sell everything he had (Matthew 19:20-22; Mark 10:20-22; Luke 18:21-23). He may tell you to go or stay or wait or who knows what else. He isn’t answerable to men. He is God.

“Surely your turning of things upside down shall be esteemed as the potter's clay: for shall the work say of him that made it, He made me not? or shall the thing framed say of him that framed it, He had no understanding?” Isaiah 29:16

How sad that we often rob ourselves of the remedy by saying, “I’m fine; Thank you.” How much better we would all be if we were willing to tell Him, “I’m not doing well today. It hurts. Please, make things as YOU will. I NEED You!” Really, He is the only One who can make it all better.

V^V^V=||=||=||=V^V^V=||=||=||=V^V^V=||=||=||=V^V^V

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me;
for I am meek and lowly in heart:
and ye shall find rest unto your souls”
Matthew 11:28, 29.